Why Is This “Modified Missionary” Position Needed, Anyway?
To find out just what the Coital Alignment Technique (or “CAT” for short) can do for you, let’s compare how things usually work for a couple when they have sex, with what happens during the coital alignment technique – also known as the “modified missionary” position.
First: The Normal Way Of Making Love
Somehow a couple decide to make love. Often this will be because the man is feeling like he needs to release sexual tension.
And often, he forgets the needs of his partner – or chooses to ignore them. He wants o skip foreplay and get to penetration! So, sometimes he may not even check with his partner whether she is sufficiently sexually aroused and lubricated before he enters her.
But what we can say with some certainty is that almost always the woman wishes they could have more foreplay before penetration.
The whole object of foreplay, or loveplay if you prefer, is to close the “arousal gap” between the man and the woman.
The arousal gap refers to how men generally get turned on very quickly, while women take longer to arouse.
This means that a woman may not be anywhere near ready for penetration at the point where her man is ready for intercourse.
What she needs is more time to get aroused. In fact, she usually needs twenty to thirty minutes of affectionate, intimate foreplay before she is really ready for penetration.
Foreplay, sensuous kissing, caressing, maybe a little oral pleasure, and other delights – for the woman – will bring her to her point of no return. That’s when she feels as if a few more moments of stimulation will make her orgasm (come or cum).
A sexually experienced woman should be able to judge this point exactly.
If you’re a woman who can’t judge this, or a man who’s in relationship with a woman who can’t judge it, maybe you would like to experiment with your partner until she is able to judge this point more finely.
The number of women who are unable to judge this point is really quite surprising, and, as a result, even when the decision for the time of penetration is left to the woman, in many cases she has not received sufficient pleasuring during foreplay to arouse her to the point where she is really ready for penetration, and craving her man inside her.
If the woman has not been sufficiently stimulated during sensual loveplay she will rarely reach orgasm by penis-vagina contact, even if the man can thrust in her vagina for fifteen, twenty, or perhaps thirty minutes without coming himself.
You see, most women require continued stimulation of the clitoral area by a finger or some other means during intercourse, if they are to come while the penis is moving inside the vagina. Yet very few couples make any attempt to supply this stimulation.
Once the decision to enjoy intercourse (i.e penetrative sex) is made, even assuming that the woman has been sufficiently stimulated and brought to the threshold of her point of no return, not a second should be wasted in getting the penis into the vagina. The thing is, without stimulation, she may lose her arousal….
Penetration is helped if the woman reaches down between her legs, spreads her vaginal lips, and guides her man’s penis to her vaginal entrance.
No time should be lost for this because many women do indeed require continuous clitoral stimulation right to the point of orgasm.
Even a few seconds pause, and her arousal will fall back; a little while longer, and she is right back where she started – unaroused. If she is to enjoy orgasm with the penis in the vagina, then the man must devise some way of stimulating her clitoris after penetration – fingers, or vibrator.
Fortunately, if a woman’s arousal does fall back, she generally doesn’t need such a long stimulation to bring her on a second time. But if she is not so stimulated, then she will not come.
Second: The Coital Alignment Technique
Many a woman has gone through her adult life without having an orgasm during lovemaking for these reasons.
The first thing a woman who has never experienced intercourse during orgasm might do, therefore, is to think about the stimulation techniques she and her partner employ, and then either find a way of getting some clitoral stimulation while enjoying intercourse, or employ the coital alignment technique.
The coital alignment technique is a variation of the missionary position, during which the man lies on his partner and then shifts his body upward along his partner’s body, until his erection is pressed downwards, towards his testicles, so it is pointing more or less vertically “downwards”.
The top of his penile shaft, and his pubic bone will be pressing against the woman’s clitoris. Now, the couple move their hips up and down rather than forward and backwards (i.e. no thrusting!) – the whole aim being to put rhythmic pressure on the area of the clitoris.
Unlike the missionary position, the man’s body moves downward during the inward stroke, and upward during the outward stroke. At the same time, his partner rocks her pelvis so that she moves downwards at the same time; but slower than him, so their bodies are in contact. This is when her clitoris is stimulated.
Then, as they begin to move upwards, she dictates the movement and he responds to her; at the top of the rocking movement, she is once again ready to meet his downward stroke and be stimulated by his movement.
To accentuate the movement, the woman can wrap her legs around her partner’s. Basically, sexual movement is focused in the couple’s pelvises, and there is little or no leverage from their arms or legs.
Although this sounds complicated, it is a lot simpler to do than to describe – and full instructions are provided on this website!
The rocking upward stroke (where the woman sets the pace and controls the movement) combined with the downward stroke (where the man sets the pace and controls the movement) builds arousal that will develop and peak naturally.
This is often a very different type of orgasm due to the longer period of build up and stimulation for the woman. And if she wants to get on top of her partner, then this is known as the “reverse coital alignment technique”.